God is stirring this uncontrollable
awakening of emotions within me. I tear up when my heart is touched,
I get attached, than sad when people are hurt in movies, and I'm
overjoyed when people praise their children. To be honest, I'm loving it.
I've hear that God is a Being of emotions for years but now, for some
reason, it's all making sense. I feel closer to Him now that I have
these emotions.
Maybe it's because I'm no longer rock
hard on the inside. I love having to learn how to lean on Him with
these emotions.
Something that I realised today: I am
loved by an intimate, detailed, joyous, and kind God.
I'm a nanny to a beautiful little boy,
Joshua. He has a laugh that rings joy. His hugs are innocent and genuine. His version of a good time is hanging out with me on
the front porch listening to One Direction. All in all, he is
perfect.
Today Joshua and I decided to play in
his room with a “new” set of toys and scenery! He brought me a
book (I guess I looked bored!) it was “Prayers for My Baby Boy”.
I opened it and was looking through because the photography was
amazing. Soon, it was more about the intimate words of a loving
mother that caught my attention. The amazement, excitement, and
admiration of this new mother's prayers brought me to tears. The
tender way she prays for her precious newborn was mind blowing.
She describes how excited she was to
design the birth announcements. How sharing him with the rest of
God's creation was such a big deal to her. She tells the story of her
son smiling for the first time. How the waving of hands, happiness of
his feet, and the gurgling noise was everything he could do to show
her how much he loved her.
My favourite “prayer” is titled
“Laughter and Dancing”.
“Surely we are born for laughter
and dancing. Our baby proves it to me. His laugh is among the finest
and purest I have ever known. He cackles aloud at the most surprising
things. A simple hello can send him into a wave of silliness and
giggles. The delight of his own laughter produces jitterbug feet and
cha-cha arms. Thank you that he laughs so effortlessly. May it
always be so. Protect his heart and his spirit from the things that
rob his joy. He is completely innocent and pure. I know that the
world will come around to find him one day, but may he always
remember how to laugh from his heart. I once heard a man say that he
could tell a lot about people by the way they laugh. I have come to
believe the great truth of his words. Real laughter-spontaneous,
readily available and un manufactured- can come only from a person of
peace and contentment. It comes only from a person who is looking for
joy. Let him always look for joy. Let him know the good medicine of
rib-splitting laughter and impromptu dancing. May he learn this fine
art from his parents. Fill our home with comedy and wit, ballet and
the Flat Rock Stomp, great fun and silliness. You gave us marvellous
giftss when You gave us a time to laugh and a time to dance. Thank
you for life's fun. Thank you for a baby who reminds us all to loosen
up a little, look for joy and giggle. From our immense please, we
give you praise.”
Half way through
these prayers of a loving mother I realised, this is what Jesus wants
desperately for me. He delights when I laugh from my heart. When I
dance and sing for no real reason. He wants me to be content and at
peace all the days of my life. He desires a life full of growing,
maturity, protection, and joy. How many of us actually had a parent
to speak such loving promises over us as infants? It doesn't matter!
Jesus does!
These
words are no where close to the depths of this revelation. Something
about feeling emotions and getting reminded of the love my Saviour
has for me is beyond satisfying. I want to have this type of love and
desire to reflect Christ's image for my children, but why wait? I
have so many people in my life now. Also, why wish away life? Why
hold things back until I get married, or until I hold a baby of my
own in my arms, or until I meet this mysterious state of “grown
up”-ness? What can I do that is everything I can do to show Him how
much I love him?
