Thursday, July 10, 2014

Beautiful Sunflower.

I've been avoiding blogging because that means processing my emotions and sometimes I don't like what I find. What God brings up. Or honestly just because I don't think it's a "valuable" way of spending my time. But these past few months God has been challenging me on "taking a moment to remember". This post will not be a big long process of deep and beautiful jewels that God has dug out of my soul-garden. It is merely a little gem that I wrote 3 July 2013 that I recently decided to open and read.

 Jesus is so good. He is comfort to my little heart and sometimes I'm blown away with the testimony that He has given me. 
So here it is…a little insight to my life. Enjoy! :) 

I will make it.

moment by moment is the grace that i'm given. 
one step too quick and it's suffocating
one step behind and I'm wallowing
"walk next to me" a quite whisper says
"let me hold you, wipe your tears, I have them in my hand." 

When the sun comes up it's deceitfully peaceful
first few breaths are easy, then the memories come
harder and harder becomes the decision, 
shut down or feel? 
do I want others to know that my heart is cold?
do I want to live the feelings of crushing pain?
"walk next to me" a quite whisper says
"let me hold, wipe your tears, I have them in my hand."

hurt, block,break, feel, cry.
adrenaline of sharp edges slicing through my skin used to be enough
it gave me the ability to feel, at least a little
now I've experienced an even greater source of adrenaline.
something that doesn't sway with emotions.
it's ready at any moment, "yes" is all my heart has to say
"walk next to me" a quiet whisper says
"let me hold you, wipe your tears, I have them in my hand."


He will bind every hurt
He will comfort every ache
He will wipe every tear from my stained face
He will whisper, "I'm here" when I'm the last one standing
He will give hope when it's the darkest time. 
He will redeem, even when no one else wants me

He will ALWAYS love me, Shannon. 
I cannot do anything to change it.
I have to trust, let go, and allow it in.
He doesn't abandon. He doesn't forget. 
He is Hope. He is Love. He is Redemption. 


Rest, baby, rest. 

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